Friday, January 29, 2010

The sheets in which we lose ourselves amongst and whisper secrets, are my saviour from the status quo. You are no stranger to my feelings or the secret indulgences of paralyzing nights. Minutes have been wasted contemplating what to write about in my posts, which results in myself either giving up and closing the screen or writing about you; considering you are all I can think about. Yet somehow, I have never been more focused on what I need in life. I have found someone, not only that I have intense feelings for, but someone that is genuinely good for me. One day we will fall in love with one another, but until then "shut up".

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Borderline cynical

Witness the life of a friend crash and burn, then tell me how you view the world. After attempts of rescuing one's soul whom had spent the last five hours in the intensive care unit, I was forced to take a step back. Happiness is as fleeting as a shooting star, so why wait until it burns out before appreciating it? I would be a fool if I said I had never taken a heart or soul for granted but after witnessing such trauma, I refuse to let myself ever make the same mistake. One will never know the harm of their unappreciative and selfish behaviour, well unless they were left to bleed on the pavement like my friend.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Going nowhere fast

Is it true that you're unable to love someone if you cannot love yourself? I've witnessed the battle between what I want and what I need, and resent myself for letting this war rage on for so long. I know this isn't good for me, but I am in it for the rush of our chemistry. Perhaps my heart has had enough of my foolish mistakes and therefore refuses to let me feel again in order to save myself from another injury. Regardless of why I am the way I am, I hate it and cannot construe a solution that could mend such a tedious affliction. I love you, but not myself, so where does that leave "us"?

Saturday, January 16, 2010

A little white lie

"The truth hurts", so how does that validate someone's actions of sharing their regrettable past in order to free their guilt? Relationships cannot exist without honesty, but surely if someone was to be afflicted by the truth, wouldn't it be simpler for the guilty to deal with the burden themselves rather then harming the innocent? If you love someone it is instinctive to try and protect them from harm's way, so how can one justify hurting someone they care about purposely, just so they can sleep with a free conscience? In a world of white lies, the world would be based on ignorance but a lot less bonds would be severed.. pity I suck at lying.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Dear significant other;

Sitting down at computer, staring at the blank post on the screen and you were the only thing that I could think of, and so I wrote.. I'm yet to decipher what exactly about your character entices me to surrender my heart to you, but right now I couldn't care less because you are mine. Malicious souls and hard times will envy us, as they have before, but my mind is at ease with the fact I know you are different. I was kidding myself to ever think I wouldn't get lost in your brown eyes, but now I am, I couldn't be happier. You have opened my eyes to what my heart is capable of feeling, and for that I adore you unconditionally. If you're a bird, I am a bird.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


With a new year followed a new realisation; no matter the level of confidence within a relationship you share, never give somebody your all. Your entirity is all anyone really possesses without any materialistic connotations, so why give that away? No matter the volume of affection you're consumed by or the smiles you're surrounded by on this planet, you only ever really have yourself. There is no harm in falling in love and sharing your world with another heart, but never your entirity. Those waters are far too deep for the reckless, and without owning your soul, I'm afraid there is nothing to keep you afloat.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Little Red

Wolves are now amongst us. Beasts hiding in disguise as they once did in tales. Hungry eyes and an empty heart are a dime a dozen in this town, but nothing suprised me more to learn that the angel whose heart I had adored and protected, was in fact one of a beast. Possesed by a soul, lacking all reasoning of fidelity and honesty led me to question, it is logically impossible for a heart to break? This hollow and depriving ache leads me to believe that I myself, have fallen victim to this malicious attack of a broken heart.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Taking on seven years

Recently it dawned upon me that no matter how well you believe you know someone, you don't. It's understandable that it may take years to decipher someone, their characteristics and behaviour, but apparently not even close to a decade is enough. With a newly blossomed friendship it is presumed each day is bound to be a new learning experience about one another, but one would think that after years of spending almost all 356 days together, that they would have validation to judge someone. After considering someone as close as family and sharing every possible dark secret, isn't it polite to expect to be given a glimpse of someones's true side. It's tiring spending nights awake questioning where along the line a mistake was made, where on earth I stumbled upon the idea that I knew you. I guess sincerity is close to extinct in this town, so gather your defence and armour up.