Swap eyes?

Why can't we see ourselves for who we really are? What causes one to disregard compliments due to their sabotaging self esteem, even if those words spoken were laced with true belief? I couldn't fathom why people around me possessed perceptions that I could never relate to myself and was led to question; do we clearly convey our intentions, realise our potential or even understand ourselves well enough? Perhaps it is time to have a good look in the mirror, but through someone else's eyes.

Forget to forgive

I've recently lost myself amongst my own thoughts and previous events, but was struck by confusion when I thought back to times when I have accepted apologies, despite their lack of integrity. I'm confused as to why, as human beings, we feel obligied to accept apologies just because we have been asked for forgiveness. It seems no matter the measure of damage caused, if someone apologises, you best accept or be considered careless and selfish. Well so what if looking out for your feelings is selfish? I'm sorry for being human and wanting to keep my heart unharmed, and please diregard any obligation to accept that :)

Unrational and raw

It's just one of those days where nothing seems to work out. Where everything seems to go against your favour and all you can really do is sit back and count down the minutes until midnight strikes. The fact my skin is raw and stained with blisters does not help the fact, nor does the realisation that I will forever be second best to the person I hold highest priority. I suppose if you truly do love someone you have to accept them for who they are, regardless if their flaws leave you waiting by the phone for hours. It would be so nice if something made sense for a change.

Lost girl

After a mindless banter turned to a deep and meaningful with my girls, I began to question everything I believed in. For a girl who thought she was lacking a belief system, I suprised myself. Okay so in my theory I believe that we are somewhat given the foundations of life and are to make of it what we choose, but could it be that our life is already pathed out and we are simply following instructions? What if what we think that our irrational acts rebel against what we should do, when in fact the notion was preconceived at birth? And if so then how are we to ever feel independent and proud in the decisions we make for ourselves? In all honesty, I'm more content sticking to my prior thought, in which we are given paths and we choose the steps to take. Even if I am wrong ignorance is, and always will be, bliss.

1969 - 2010

Rest in Peace
“From heaven to hell and back again, life is a funny thing. Beauty can come from even the most disgusting places.”
— Alexander McQueen

Slow down

Why is it that as humans, we focus on what we don't have rather than what we do have? The idealistic realm in which we all strive for, smothers our perception to what treasures we already posses. We're inclined to believe that perfection is unattainable thanks to such phrases as "nobody is perfect", so if it is out of reach, why do people lose their souls in search of it? Or, what if perfection is truly attainable and whilst we are all venturing to uncover some miracle, it is right in front of us, yet we are too swept up to even notice? While everything begins to spin out of control, I've opted to sit back and enjoy the view of my own version of perfection... love.

Love's queue

Love waits for no one, so why wait for it? After witnessing those around me suffer from the desperation of yearning for a partner, they seem to settle for the next charmer without any understanding of their motives. It seems as if you were to wait on love, you are so anxious to find that affection you will settle for something to simply feed that urge, no matter their character. It is true when they say all good things in life take time, including successful relationships. Even if it takes what may seem like a life time, it will be worth it.. trust me.

Speechless

Peach stained lips will never possess the power that a gentle touch could. Actions will forever speak louder than words. It takes anyone to simply promise someone the world, but one with a lion's heart and strong mind to ever accomplish such a thing. My love could never speak again and I would feel the exact way I do today simply by gazing into those glossy eyes and witnessing every act of adoration. Those of a physical nature have always been more impressive than words slurred under a blank sky. It takes something quite magical to captivate without words, yet somehow I have fallen into one's arms.

Loose lips

Correct me if I am wrong, but it seems as those words have lost all value in our society today. Terms seem to have enticed repetition in our day to day vocabulary despite their malicious connotations, and promises are kept as often as the blue moon rises. It sickens me to question how many times I have been reassured, promised and confided in, only for it all to have been some facade. I refuse to possess such a loosely strung vocabulary, and sorry if I appear crazy, but I have always thought promises are made with intention to keep them.

♥

The sheets in which we lose ourselves amongst and whisper secrets, are my saviour from the status quo. You are no stranger to my feelings or the secret indulgences of paralyzing nights. Minutes have been wasted contemplating what to write about in my posts, which results in myself either giving up and closing the screen or writing about you; considering you are all I can think about. Yet somehow, I have never been more focused on what I need in life. I have found someone, not only that I have intense feelings for, but someone that is genuinely good for me. One day we will fall in love with one another, but until then "shut up".